{"product_id":"squishable-alter-ego-plague-doctor","title":"SQUISHABLE - Alter Ego Plague Doctor","description":"\u003cp\u003eImagine an infinite number of alternate dimensions, sliced thin like salami and all layered together in a delicious sandwich of universes. In these parallel strata of time and space, the Squishables are very, very different. Squishable Alter Egos are all the Squishables that might have been (and almost certainly still are…somewhere). Each one is Snacker-sized, with a base of beans and our special soft fur. Because some things are universal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlague Doctor Druid:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eListen to this Spooky Druid’s wisdom. But beware, for this wisdom is cursed! Once you know it, you will never be able to unknow it! Even when you think you’ve forgotten it, it will still be there, indelibly etched onto the very meat of your brain, just awaiting the proper stimulus to rise again! I mean, that has nothing to do with this particular wisdom, that’s just how the neurology of memory works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlague Doctor Alien:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHey stranger, I’m looking for a farm. You know, the type where you do farm work with your tentac…hands? I’m here to inspect some cows. Just inspect. Definitely not abduct. Yessirree, just a regular human looking for a farm with some cows who are open to interstellar travel. I mean…grass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlague Doctor Beast:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLegend says that on a night such as this, the Great Plague Beast arises in the forest! It growls its growl! It gnashes its teeth! Behold! The Great Plague Beast rides again! And what does it ride? A fancy 10-speed road bike hybrid with flashing lights on its wheels! It’s not on brand, but they’re into it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlague Doctor Nymph:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt’s hard to have a conversation with a tree. I’ve tried. I’ve been like, “Hey Oak, who do you think the bad guy is this season on ‘Only Murders in the Building?'” and the Oak is all like, “Whatever”. Not so with this Plague Nymph! Nature spirit! Forest fairy! They have opinions about the breeze and the bees and the trees! They’re totally wrong about that murderer though, it’s definitely the guy’s brother.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlague Doctor Cowboy:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHowdy howdy howdy! I sure do wish I could be playing my ‘monica out on the range by the campfire, cooking some vittles! Instead I’m doing math homework. But I could be roundin’ up some steers and lassoing ‘dem dogies! Except I’m not. I’m doing trigonometry for Mrs. Schpiel’s 3rd period class. That’s taking place at a rodeo!! Nope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Squishable","offers":[{"title":"Druid","offer_id":47566250213597,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Alien","offer_id":47566250246365,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Beast","offer_id":47566250279133,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Nymph","offer_id":47566250311901,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Cowboy","offer_id":47566250344669,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0676\/5998\/9213\/files\/alteregos_doctor_plague_set_2_druid.jpg?v=1773310765","url":"https:\/\/cardmerchanttauranga.co.nz\/products\/squishable-alter-ego-plague-doctor","provider":"Card Merchant Tauranga","version":"1.0","type":"link"}